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Matthew Portman
Matthew Portman

9 Followers

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Published in Hypnagogia

·Aug 24, 2020

Le Petit

Or ‘The Little’ April 27th, 2020 I’ve never seen a piece quite like it. Le Petit, a public art exhibition shown in Los Angeles, was put on anonymously from April 20th — 24th; its showcase marred by the onset of the Coronavirus. Little is known about the artist behind Le…

Art

3 min read

Le Petit
Le Petit
Art

3 min read


Published in Hypnagogia

·Jun 3, 2020

What to do when you’re too depressed with the world to function as a living human being

With pictures! — Hi, this is your life advice coach speaking, and, speaking from personal experience, you’re in a rut right now aren’t you? Struggling to get out of bed? Staying in the shower a little too long? I understand. I’ve been there; we’ve all been there.

Humor

4 min read

What to do when you’re too depressed with the world to function as a living human being
What to do when you’re too depressed with the world to function as a living human being
Humor

4 min read


Published in Hypnagogia

·Jun 3, 2020

Cute Pictures

For all kinds of people with all kinds of interests — Don’t like baby turtles? Here’s a baby panda: And a regular panda:

Cute

2 min read

Cute Pictures
Cute Pictures
Cute

2 min read


Published in Hypnagogia

·May 4, 2020

Number One

As told by number two — A man stands on a corner of a busy crosswalk in a busy neighborhood of a bustling city. — Am I number one!? Curious passersby pass him by. The man wiggles excitedly awaiting a response. — Am I… Number one? None oblige. He begins to jump up and down in…

Humor

1 min read

Number One
Number One
Humor

1 min read


Published in Hypnagogia

·Apr 4, 2020

Semyon Semyonovich

A tribute to Gogol — Semyon son of Semyon stumbled to the end of the street yelling - “My feet, they’re weary! My hands, they ache!” And collapsed. The following morning, Semyon awoke in a bed not very much unlike his own. He turned to his left and then to his right noting the minute…

Fiction

7 min read

Semyon Semyonovich
Semyon Semyonovich
Fiction

7 min read


Published in Hypnagogia

·Mar 23, 2020

A Preface on the Study of Corona Prefixes

Or, True Stories from a Dictionary — Coronado (noun) — A ‘resort city’ in California outside of San Diego. My Croatian friend Zlata and I planned a trip to Coronado island but canceled when it was discovered that the Coronavirus had infected all the dogs on the island. 2. Hedychium Coronarium…

Coronavirus

10 min read

A Preface on the Study of Corona Prefixes
A Preface on the Study of Corona Prefixes
Coronavirus

10 min read


Published in The Fainting Goat Offense Lawsuit

·Feb 5, 2020

The Fainting Goat Offense Lawsuit

The Article, or Part 1 — May 8, 2020 NEW YORK, NEW YORK — It’s only a matter of time before the courtroom becomes an octagon where participants don boxing gloves instead of three piece suits. “In today’s day and age, that kind of affront just won’t do.” On May 5 at 1:01 P.M. under presiding…

Humor

3 min read

The Fainting Goat Offense Lawsuit
The Fainting Goat Offense Lawsuit
Humor

3 min read


Published in The Fainting Goat Offense Lawsuit

·Feb 5, 2020

Letters from The Fainting Goat Offense Lawsuit

Also known as, Part 2 — Part 1, Part 3 Dearest Judge Babu, It is with utmost sincerity that I request your pardon and that we ‘let bygones be bygones” so-to-speak. The events that unfolded during our most recent trial are completely inexcusable and grew far out of hand. We took advantage of your good faith…

Satire

3 min read

The Fainting Goat Offense Lawsuit
The Fainting Goat Offense Lawsuit
Satire

3 min read


Published in The Fainting Goat Offense Lawsuit

·Feb 5, 2020

The Transcript of The Fainting Goat Offense Lawsuit

Also known as, Part 3 — Part 1, Part 2

Humor

2 min read

The Fainting Goat Offense Lawsuit
The Fainting Goat Offense Lawsuit
Humor

2 min read


Jan 21, 2020

Donald Trump is Not the Fat Acceptance Figure We Want

The Fat Acceptance Movement began in 1967 to protest what many and more felt was an anti-fat bias. Together, we’ve taken massive strides to promote a message of tolerance and dignity for those inhabiting a bigger body. Our movement has successfully prompted fat-friendly legislation, plus-sized inclusivity in advertising, modeling, and…

Humor

3 min read

Donald Trump is Not the Fat Acceptance Figure We Want
Donald Trump is Not the Fat Acceptance Figure We Want
Humor

3 min read

Matthew Portman

Matthew Portman

9 Followers

Screenwriter, coffee lover, and graduate student. No particular order except by necessity. https://www.scriptrevolution.com/profiles/matthew-portman

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